So, you are ready to start manifesting the life of your dreams! Only problem is, you’re not sure what those dreams are. What do you really want in life? This post will help you identify what you want most so you can jump all in and get to manifesting.
How did we get here?
How did we get to the point where we don’t know what we want? I know how I did. Years of being told what I should think and what I should believe led me to set my desires aside. After years of training to follow a certain path, my creative imagination withered. I became so disconnected from my dreams that I didn’t even remember what they were.
After years of doing what we’re told, doing what we are “supposed to”, or doing what is expected, our creative muscle can atrophy. When we have stopped dreaming and believing, we have lost the habit of knowing what we want. We can get it back though!
Children know what they want
Children are more in touch with what they want. From moment to moment they are investigating, learning, growing, and experimenting in any way they desire (or can get away with). They also believe they can accomplish and have anything they want. And essentially, they do accomplish most of what they set their minds to.
What if humans never lost that mindset? Wouldn’t it be amazing to go through life like a little scientist, pursuing interests with the belief that we can do whatever we want? What could we accomplish and experience with that perspective? What life could we manifest?
Desires are not bad
I grew up in a religious family, and desires were a bad thing. We were not supposed to be selfish (check out my blog post on selfishness), and if we did anything that reflected what we wanted and was not for someone else, or God, than it was many times considered selfish.
Having desires is not a bad thing! Even wanting to be godly and unselfish is a desire. Desires are where creation, learning and growth emerge. Without desires, there would be no improvement. Without desires, we become stagnant and complacent.
The difference between want and need
An essential aspect of manifesting is to feel as though your desire is manifested already. This is because how you feel sends out a vibration and will attract a similar vibration. If you feel that you need something to change in order to be happy, guess what, you will attract more of what makes you feel that need.
The way to success and joy in manifesting what you want to experience, is to not NEED it. This can be a tough concept to grasp. I struggled with this one for about a year before I finally got it! The want gets to be fun and experiential, not desperate or hard.
Want from a place of wholeness
The truth is that we are complete and spiritually perfect right now. We have everything we need within us. We are ultimately safe in the mind of God, arms of God, bosom of the universe. No matter what happens in this physical world, our essence is eternal and the journey goes on.
Therefore, it doesn’t even really matter what you want! Wanting, pursuing, accomplishing, and experiencing is what matters! The joy of the journey and who you become is where the juicy excitement lies! We are here to have a human experience and to have fun. No need to take things so serious or overthink what we want. Sometimes you just need to pick something and have an adventure!
Ways to identify what you want
Here are some ways to get your creative juices flowing. Imagining what you will manifest in your life is the most exciting activity ever! Its my favorite part!! Have fun!
- Identify what you don’t want and then flip it. Sometimes the best way to know what you do want is to identify what you don’t want. Many times we won’t change something or get uncomfortable unless things are really bad. Lets identify those things before they get to that point.
- Do you dislike your lack of time freedom?
- Do you not like that you feel you have to penny pinch because money is so tight?
- Are you tired of doing the same things every day and feeling stuck in a rut?
Flip the switch to what you DO want:
- What does time freedom look like to you?
- How would you live if money was abundant in your life?
- How would you prefer to experience your day?
This is a great starting point to begin exploring things you would like to change in your life. The trick is to not dwell on the areas that you don’t like, and focus more on what you would want to manifest instead.
- Brainstorm! Brainstorming is so much fun! This is when you can dump ideas, explore what you enjoy and are good at or just want to become good at, and consider multiple options. Its like going to a buffet! You get to sample all the ideas, imagine them, and decide which ones feel best.
- What did you love to do as a child?
- What hobbies do you engage in now?
- What do you see yourself excited to do every day?
- What do you see yourself doing for free or without recognition and still enjoying?
- What sparks your interest and excites you?
Literally, you could make a lifestyle out of pursuing anything you want! The universe is the limit! Many people who manifest their dreams realize they could have dreamed bigger, because now they know that anything is possible. Anything is possible for you too. Go all out!
“Dream big dreams! Imagine that you have no limitations and then decide what’s right before you decide what’s possible.”—Brian Tracey
- Use the Robert Dilts Model. Robert Dilts is a neuro-linguistic programming practitioner, and his model is used by many businesses, schools, and self-help leaders because it is a great way to understand the levels of self and the areas that need to be explored and cultivated to create what is desired.
Everything flows from the top down, but changing lower levels will also effect the levels above. Its all connected.
Vision or Spirituality- This is your base belief of why you are here and what your purpose is. This is your philosophy for life. Could be your religious views, or may be based on a general spiritual idea. This could also be the vision of how you want to experience your life. Some questions to ask:
- What philosophy do I want to live by?
- What do I think my purpose for being here is?
- How do I want to experience this life, and what do I want it to mean?
Identity- This is who you believe you are. Maybe you identify as a mom and wife, or perhaps you see your identity as your career, or maybe you view yourself as shy or outgoing. Identity is what we decide it is. As much as we might be tricked into thinking we are what we are and that’s it, try to consider that who you are is deeper than what you are skilled at or your personality. Much of our identity is just habits and programmed beliefs. Some questions:
- Who do I want to be?
- How do I want to see myself?
- Who do I need to be to live the life of my dreams?
Beliefs/Values- Most beliefs and values were taught to us or have to do with our past experiences. Other people had different experiences and therefore different beliefs about how life works. Much of what we believe gets passed down to us, and because what we believe creates our experience, our experiences reflect our beliefs. This too can be changed. You can believe whatever you want to believe, and it will transform your experience. Changing beliefs takes some effort and reprogramming (here’s my blog post on Reprogramming the Subconscious Mind), but it can be done! Here are some questions you could ask:
- What are my beliefs and how do they show up?
- What beliefs don’t serve me?
- What beliefs do I want to have?
- What beliefs would make me feel happy, fulfilled, connected to others, and excited to be alive?
Skills- Once you know how you want to identify yourself, you can get to work building the skills and capabilities that reflect that identity. This is the learning level, building muscle, gaining knowledge. This part can be challenging and exciting all in one. Its never easy to be a beginner, but it feels amaaaazing to get better and better. Sometimes we don’t need to focus on learning a bunch of stuff. A book called The One Thing asserts that we really mostly need to focus on cultivating the main skill and spend far less time on everything else; the 80/20 principle relates to this as well. Here are some questions for this level:
- What skills will I need to live the life I want?
- What do I want to be an expert in?
- What skills will I have the most fun learning?
- What skills do I already have and want to perfect?
- What skills could I teach to others?
Behavior- behaviors seem to come automatically when your thoughts and beliefs are on track. I know how futile it is to try to force a wanted behavior again and again, only to fail and continue to avoid the desired behavior. This can be frustrating! But I’ve noticed that when I do the internal work first, all of a sudden the behavior just happens. That’s how I quit smoking and drinking, started working out, and waking up at 4:30am. However, I needed to identify what behaviors I wanted before they manifested. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- What are some behaviors I want to cultivate and why?
- What are some behaviors of people who have achieved success in my areas of interest?
- What behaviors make me feel good when I do them and I want to do more regularly?
Environment- according to the law of attraction, what vibration we emit attracts similar vibrations. This includes our environment. Looking at your environment is a great way to see where you’re at vibrationally. No need to get down or feel bad if there are things that you don’t like. These will change as your vibration changes. Its important to know what you want in your environment. What places and types of people feel the best? How can you change your perspective towards those that you react negatively towards? You’re environment will change as you change your relationship with it and as you visualize what you want. This happens automatically. Either toxic people leave because you are no longer a match to them, or you leave because you are compelled to make a necessary change. When you do the internal work, the right decisions will come to you. Some questions:
- What environments do you like the best and how can you increase those?
- What environment do you want to live in?; neighborhood/home/travel
- What community/friends do you want to be apart of?
- What type of people do you want to serve?
Don’t overthink it
Its best not to overthink what you want. Honestly, as you travel toward the destination of achieving your goals, what you want will transform. As you peal back the layers and get down to who you really are, your dreams will evolve.
The journey to your dreams will reveal more of who you really are. This is why the journey is as valuable as the destination! Maybe even more so. May you live a beautiful and exciting life, freely expressing who you are to the fullest!