All of us have experienced reacting to someone or something that just rubbed us the wrong way. Even Jesus lost it in the temple and started trashing the place in his anger. If you desire to release negative reactions and live with more wisdom and inner peace, than this post is for you!
Many colorful characters!
So many colorful characters in this world! There is every type of personality, and many of which we may not agree with or find enjoyable. We also are probably not someone’s favorite flavor either. But as spiritual beings, in order to live expansive lives we will want to learn to accept and appreciate everyone in this big wide world of ours.
When we contemplate this world in terms of spirituality, we must remember that everyone is connected and part of the same whole. Each person, animal, and aspect of life is a part of the Universe, expressing itself from many different perspectives. Therefore, each person is manifesting different aspects of the same collective consciousness. We are all one!
Its never the other person
Next time someone annoys you or makes you angry, realize they are your mirror. The law of attraction is always at work, bringing to you people and situations that are a vibrational match to the vibration you are emitting. Everything and everyone is reflecting aspects of ourselves to us (see my post People Reflect What’s Inside Ourselves).
If you were not a vibrational match, you wouldn’t react or even notice anything that was not a match to you. Also, people would behave differently toward you if you were vibrating at a different frequency. The cause is always within, so when someone is being an ass to you, in some way you are being an ass to yourself. Or maybe you are expecting them to be an ass, so you are manifesting in that way as well.
What is the interpretation?
Anytime we react to someone or something, it is because of the interpretation we are giving to the situation. If we see ourselves as a victim and someone else as having it out for us, our interpretation will cause anger or anxiety. This in turn could trigger actions such as gossip about the person, passive aggression towards them, or treating them badly in turn.
All reactivity stems from our interpretation. In order to release negative reactions, you will want to identify what beliefs are cultivating them. Why do you feel so much agitation when a certain person says what they say? Do you have anger from a past incident? Do you believe that nothing you do is good enough? Do you have a vision of this person that is only negative? Really check with yourself and your reasons for feeling and acting the way you are.
Seeing opportunity in reactivity
Experiencing our reactivity is a beautiful opportunity to make peace with limiting beliefs and live our lives with more freedom. People and situations reveal to us internal programming that is holding us back from living our best lives. How else would you know you were carrying around anger and pain from the past, if someone didn’t bring that forth in you. This process can be painful at times, but so worth the relief of release!
When you find yourself reacting in a way that feels crappy, realize that stuff is coming up. If you desire peace and liberation, you WILL be unburdened from your pain. Don’t feel guilty for the reactions and thoughts, just know you are on your way to healing. More so every day you will find freedom, and before you know it you will be so much happier than ever before. And the people that used to drive you crazy will be completely different, or you will find the things that used to annoy you are now endearing or helpful. Or they will drift from your environment because your vibration has changed and they no longer are a match to you.
Tools to release negative reactions
Tool #1- Positive Aspects Journal
I’ve mentioned this journal a few times, and it is seriously so helpful in releasing negative reactions towards others. I learned about it in the book by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Ask and It Is Given. There are 22 fantastic exercises in that book and I recommend checking them out.
Get a journal and designate it as your positive aspects journal. Start by writing about a couple people that you love and enjoy being around. Write the name at the top of the page, and for at least one full page bullet point this person’s positive attributes. You will notice how good you feel after your focus on the things you love and appreciate about these people.
Once you’ve got a good vibration going, start in on the person you are struggling to deal with at the moment. Write at lease one page of bullet points. Even if you have to pick something easy such as you like their hair, or the clothes they wear, or are impressed that they speak their mind so freely. You can find something, I believe in you!
If you are still finding yourself reactive, look for more things to add to the list. Write out another page, and another. I’ll bet you won’t even make it to four pages before you see the shift begin to happen. It works! I’ve used it many times and love how my relationships have transformed with this tool!
Tool #2- Autosuggestion
Autosuggestion, or affirmations, will do wonders to help you release negative reactions! We become what we think about, and autosuggestion is a sure way to influence your subconscious mind to believe what you want. If you want freedom from negative emotions, then you will need to change your thinking habits.
Start by making a list of the thoughts/ interpretations that you have regarding the situation or person. Dig down and figure out what belief is provoking the reaction. Write each one down on the left side of a sheet of paper.
On the right side of the paper, write your desired belief for each reactive belief. Maybe instead of thinking that people take advantage of you, decide that you will believe that people appreciate what you do for them and also do things for you. If that is too much of a stretch, start with a smaller step such as “More so every day I see that people appreciate me and are giving as well as receiving.”
Repeat your autosuggestions every morning (your subconscious is more suggestible immediately upon awakening), during meditation and/or prayer, and during the day when you are feeling the reactivity or before if you can. This is how you change your programming! You will see the changes sometimes super quickly, but usually it will take a few weeks. It’s so exciting once you do see the change and feel the relief!!
Tool #3- Focus on what you do want
A good way to flip the negative reactions is to stop focusing on what you don’t want and instead focus on what you do want. You can do this with anything that doesn’t feel good.
First step is to identify what you are experiencing that you don’t want. Maybe you don’t want to be treated badly, or you don’t want to be judgemental or upset with this person. Fully realize what it is you don’t want and make this clear in your mind.
Then, flip the switch. Ask yourself “What do I want?” Perhaps you want to be treated with respect and love. Maybe you want to feel peace and acceptance. Maybe you want to feel appreciated.
Instead of thinking about what you want in a way that feels like you don’t have these things, imagine what it would feel like to have what you want. What would it feel like to be treated with respect and appreciated for what you do? What would it feel like to be at peace? Focus on this feeling, and you will find relief.
I used to have to use this tool multiple times per day. It will take practice and you will have to be consistent. Keep flipping those thoughts over and over and this will become second nature. Then the change will happen.
Tool #4- Release Fears to the Universe/God
I just recently used this tool to release fears that were causing a ton of reaction. Its basically the autosuggestion tool, except stated out loud and symbolic action which can help create the feeling of completion.
Every reaction is basically in response to a fear we have. Write out your fears relating to the situation. Be as honest as you can. Fear of rejection; fear of being hurt; fear of not being good enough; fear of being alone.
On a separate sheet, write out the “true you” in response to each of your fears. Who you really are is free, safe, and full of love. By releasing your fear of rejection, you can embrace the belief that people accept and love you exactly how you are. Instead of fearing being hurt, realize that you are always safe because you love yourself and see others how they really are, past their own hurt and pain.
You will be inspired to write out beliefs that feel right to you when you ask the Universe/God for guidance. Once you are done, read your fears aloud, “I release my fear of…”, followed by what you will be replacing them with. Then either burn the fear list, or cut/tear it up and toss it.
You have released those fears! They may be gone for good, or more likely it will take some consistent remembering at first. But this tool will literally free you from reactivity if you let it work for you and believe.
Tool #5- Visualization
I love this tool and am using it more and more to create experiences that I want. Its useful if you know ahead of time that you may be reactive so you can prepare and prepave the road. You can also use it as revision to change how a situation played out in your mind, therefore setting you up for better responses in the future.
Visualization is best done when you are relaxed and in a meditative state. This can be just before bed or right when you wake up, or during a meditation. Once you feel in the zone, imagine how you want the situation to play out. Imagine the interactions in a way that is ideal. Don’t use your logical thinking or let the past influence your visual. See it how you truly want it to be.
Be sure to inject emotion into your visualization. Thoughts without emotion are limited in their power (just as emotions without thought are limited in their direction). Imagine how you will feel when you have fun and feel love from the person and toward the person. Feel what it will be like afterwards, when you realize that everything worked out perfectly and you had such a great time. Feel the gratitude and awe.
You don’t even have to be a skilled visualizer (I’m not naturally good at this yet), but it will still work! I’ve seen so much success in all areas of my life when I take even just 5 minutes to visualize what I want to see happen. The results will blow you away. Try it, believe, and expect good things. It may not work every time at first, but with practice you will see life mirror more and more your intentions, usually EXACTLY how you imagined!
I write this many times, “would you rather be happy or be right?” This is a powerful question that helped me make the choice. I finally chose to be happy over holding onto the illusion of control and separation. I want to feel good and enjoy my life, not wasting time feeling hurt and needing validation. Life is a gift, and I want to live it in freedom.
I hope you make the same choice. Its hard to release negative reactions, but once you start to see the change and the amazing feelings that come with it, you won’t ever want to go back. You have the power and the meaning is found within. Change your meaning and you change your life!
May you experience peace and love on your journey.