people reflect what's inside

Have you ever heard that if someone says something that really upsets you, there might be some truth in what they said? Michael Jackson sang a song called “Man in the Mirror”. The message was: if you want to make the world a better place, change yourself. But what if people actually DO reflect what is going on inside ourselves? What if when we react to others, we’re literally not wanting to see a part of ourselves that hasn’t made peace with the aspect being reflected to us? Lots to consider!

All is one

Many spiritual beliefs claim that we are all one. That there is infinite intelligence in each of us, a collective consciousness, an intuition that connects us all. Indeed when you consider the physical world, everything seems to be connected in one way or another. The wind can move leaves across an entire field; the roots of plants and trees are all interwoven in an intricate network of flowing impulses which communicate with one another; humans can feel and be moved by another human’s energy and words spoken even though they have not been physically touched. This world is connected in so many ways, finding causes of anything is usually never limited to just one event as the cause.

Scientists have discovered that everything is made up of energy. There are atoms with protons and neutrons, but most of an atom is empty space with tiny, hard-to-catch electrons flying around. Supposedly the atoms that make up solid mass, are mostly empty space and are vibrating and moving continuously. Albert Einstein said that “Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one”.

What created this illusion?

If you agree that there is a Law of Attraction at work and it responds to energy that is being projected, than there must have been a consciousness that dreamed up this entire world. Many believe that God made this world, and they also believe that humans are made in the image of God. If God is creative and we are made in that image, than we are also creative.

I believe that the energy that flows in and through everything that exists is creative, wanting to express, experience, and expand itself. I heard from someone once that the world was created because the Universe is seeking to know itself. There seems to be a collective consciousness that is being expressed from many different perspectives. I think the many different perspectives all contributed to creating everything we see today, and each one of us continues this exploration of self.

Its not you, its me

Since we are all part of the same consciousness, and what we vibrate is what we attract, when someone comes at you sideways or says something dis-empowering to you, this is a reflection of what you are vibrating. People reflect what’s inside of us. There is a dis-empowering belief that is playing itself out in the theater of your life.

Recognizing when emotions come up in reaction to a person is a great way to make peace with thoughts that don’t serve us in our life. Realizing that it is not the person that you need to direct your anger or hurt feelings, but that these beliefs are within you, you can release any thoughts of being a victim or needing to defend yourself. The work is within.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

-Wayne Dyer

Maybe someone told you that you didn’t do your job very well, pointing out the areas where you are lacking. This could be an opportunity to realize maybe you are too hard on yourself and need to notice when you do a good job and give yourself praise. Or, maybe this is an area you could use some feedback on, optimizing and becoming more efficient. You can imagine a completely different outcome for the next time, and you’ll be amazed to see the same people start to treat you the way you are imagining. I’ve tried and tested this and it really works!

I take note of my emotional state and how people treat me. People will seriously respond according to the energy you are giving off! Most of our habitual beliefs are subliminal, so therefore its helpful when a person can show us a hidden belief. These are all opportunities to become more free and more happy.


I learned about the Ho’oponopono prayer when I watched a training done by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. The prayer is simple and you can say it in any order that feels right. I even modified the wording when I was using it. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank-you. I love you.” You say those four short phrases over and over again like a mantra.

Supposedly, Dr. Ihaleakala used this prayer to heal an entire ward of mental patients at the Hawaii State Hospital. He had been asked to help them at the hospital due to an overflow of patients, many of whom needed to be shackled as they were violent. The staff were unhappy, scared to work, and morale was very low.

Dr. Ihaleakala didn’t see one patient while he was there. He would look at their files, and then go to work on himself, saying the prayer and cleaning out his own energy field. He took responsibility for their state of mind and worked on releasing that in himself.

Amazingly, after working in this way for four years, the patients who required shackles were allowed to walk freely and finally released, many of whom had been considered hopeless cases! The employees were happy and stopped calling in sick because they were enjoying their job.

How to become aware

It’s so easy to be swept away by our physical senses and forget that this physical world is an effect and the internal world is the cause. My first reaction many times is still to blame the other person or situation. I can get agitated, annoyed, hurt, impatient. Then I realize that I’m directing these emotions toward myself. Because I am unconsciously being this way with myself it is playing itself out in how I react to the people around me.

This is in no way a reason to condemn ourselves or beat ourselves up. This is feedback! Eye-opening feedback that will help us move in the direction of the life we truly want to live. I know I don’t want to be annoyed, gossiping about my coworkers, feeling like crap all day, attracting negativity. I want freedom, acceptance, love, and powerful collaborating interactions.

people reflect what's inside

How to practice

  • Positive Aspects Journal– this is by far my number one tool in releasing negative feelings towards others. Whichever person I am struggling to accept and need to seriously change my energy toward, I write at least a full page of their positive aspects in bullet points. At the beginning, sometimes I would have to revisit a day or so later and write an additional page. But I haven’t needed to write more than two pages for any one person, because I’m able to change my view of them so drastically that the negative emotions leave me. It works every time!
  • Ho’oponopono Prayer– of course try this one! I used it for a few weeks. I struggled with many emotions, anger and agitation at the beginning of my journey, and I would say this prayer literally all day in my mind. It was a constant mantra. I was able to say it even while talking to someone. I changed it to feel more resonate for me from “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank-you. I love you.” to “I love you. I forgive you. I am here for you. Thank-you.” Whatever works for you!
  • Speak positively about others– its so easy to gossip! Especially if you are overcoming people-pleasing habits. When you talk negatively about others, that energy will come right back at you. People will start talking about you that way, your environment will decline in every possible way, and you will feel like shit. Start speaking of the good you see in the people around you and the good vibes that are produced will make you feel amazing. The feeling is far more exhilarating than the lower vibrations. When you speak people up, you build yourself up as well and you are destined for success in everything you do.
  • Visualize– I recently used a visualizing exercise to create a harmonious interaction with a co-worker. I had written a couple of pages of positive aspects for this woman in my journal, and my negative reaction was faaar less than it had been initially, when I had hated everything she said and even felt bullied by her. I took responsibility for my reactivity and started visualizing awesome interactions. I saw us being kind and thoughtful to each other, mutually beneficial and respectful. I was amazed but this work completely changed our relationship! I enjoy working with her now, we have great conversations, and I see the value in what she has to teach me.

How to heal others

Once you start seeing the world from this perspective, its easy to see that many people are suffering needlessly. They are giving their power away by assuming that others are the cause of their misery. It can be difficult to watch someone live their life this way. Sometimes I want to shake people and make them see! No matter how hard you try to change someone, you will find it is a losing battle.

The way to heal others is by healing ourselves. When we heal ourselves then we see things as they truly are. When we start seeing the good in ourselves and the progress we are making, we can begin to do that for the people around us.

Visualize for others

My mom absolutely helped heal me from my alcoholism. She prayed for me every day and was there for me without force or manipulation. Instead of trying to change me or make me see, she just prayed and knew that I would be ok. She had complete faith. She saw me healthy and happy as she knew I would be one day. She would even tell me when I was in the depths of my hopeless state, “I know you will overcome this. I just know it.”

This is how we heal others. We see them as we know they truly are. Happy, free, confident, healthy, and full of life. We can lift people up by believing them to be the way we visualize them to be. Send positive energy to the people you love. Don’t feel sorry for them. Feel happy for them and their victory!

Seeing reaction as opportunity

I get grateful now when a person or situation brings out a reaction. I get excited even. These are opportunities for me to release inhibiting self-programming. I know where the true responsibility lies, and I make the changes within. I correct the belief and continue to affirm it until it is accepted by my subconscious.

Only after I make the changes within will my outer world change. Until the changes occur, I stay loyal to the vision of how I want my life to be. Again, the outer world is the effect, the inner world is the cause. Reprogram the cause and the effects are sure to follow.

Be kind to yourself, enjoy the journey, and happy manifesting!

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