The pain of discouragement…
I really wanted to believe that I could change my life, but after trying super hard to visualize, think positive thoughts, write out my desires over and over, speak them out loud, meditate a ton, etc., still nothing was happening. I was struggling super hard to overcome feelings of hopelessness.
When I first started attempting to create my life the way I wanted, I experienced a lot of ups and downs. The downs were really bad. I had feelings of hopelessness and depression that would last a week or more. I had more bad days than good at the beginning.
I would go strong for a couple of days, and then be overcome by all the evidence that was the opposite of what I wanted in my life. I would take off on a downward spiral and things would spontaneously happen to make it even worse; I would see that I was overdrawn in my bank account, then my dog would suddenly have diarrhea all over the apartment carpet, and that night at work I would notice I had been cut 10 hours next week. The opposite of what I wanted was happening!
Law of Attraction is always working…
Even in those moments of despair, I realized that I was drawing all that negativity into my experience by how I was vibrating. Of course, that didn’t make me feel any better. It only made me feel like more of a failure.
I knew I was probably trying too hard, and therefore pushing away the very things I wanted so badly. I was desperate for money and all that came with it, connection with others, freedom from my insecurities, and just really wanted to be able to create what I wanted. I felt in those moments the deep sting of not being good enough to manifest anything good for myself.
Ask for help…
I prayed a lot when I was in my darkest hours but didn’t expect an answer. I cried a lot. I would wallow for a day or two, and then I would search for relief.
There are soooo many articles, videos and tools that can encourage and give hope. One such video that helped me more than once is by Teal Swan called What to Do If You Feel Hopeless. Hers and others would help raise me from my depths of pain.
Look for answered prayer…
I started realizing that every time I prayed, a little while later it would be answered. When I desperately wanted peace and to feel better, a stranger would say something nice to me, or I would find the perfect video on YouTube to raise my vibration. If I prayed to make it to work on time when running late, I would be early. If I prayed for my money to last until payday, it would seem to magically stretch out, kind of like the story with Jesus and the loaves/fishes.
I’m not religious, and I have history with Christianity which makes me shy from it. But I do know there is a power greater than me. And I decided to believe that it answers my prayers and works to bring me my desires the moment I have them.
The more I started looking for answers to my prayers, the more I started seeing them. I had to start small to build my faith. That is the same faith that is needed for manifesting everything in life. I was beginning the process of overcoming the feelings of hopelessness and gaining relief.
I was looking outside myself for things to make me feel ok. I was expecting my desires to heal me and fix all my problems. I needed money, friends, and everything to be going well for me to feel good.
When I realized this, I knew that I knew that I had some inner work to do. False beliefs were ruling my experience, as well as past hurt and tons of fear.
Learn to love yourself…
I started working through the book A Course in Miracles. When I read that I am part of the Universe and the Universe would be incomplete if I was missing, that was a new idea that felt good and a belief I could work towards. It was hard at first to not get distracted by the Christianity-based wording, but soon I was able to see the connection and common spiritual thread in the story of Jesus.
I wrote “I Love You” on a piece of paper and taped it on the bathroom mirror. I said affirmations to myself. I recognized moments when I was discounting my feelings and assuming they were wrong, and I became determined to stop whenever feelings came up and honor them.
The most important thing in my life became cultivating and nurturing a relationship with myself.
Feeling bad is ok…
I learned that feeling bad did not mean that I was bad, or that I was doing something wrong. It was just feedback. I had some triggers in my subconscious that I was working through, and it was not going to be pretty for a little while.
I saw a video from Teal Swan regarding staying with yourself through the emotions, good and bad. Many of us are taught as children to only express acceptable emotions and that no one wants to be around us when we are negative. But we get to be there for us.
Don’t abandon yourself when you feel down. Love yourself instead.
The Sedona Method…
What you resist persists. I learned how to stop resisting my negative feelings, because my resistance caused them to become mountains.
A powerful tool I used in overcoming feelings of hopelessness was the Sedona Method. I was working through a webinar by Bob Doyle and he mentioned this process as a way to release negative emotions. I was blown away by how well it worked!! It was “allowing” in action!
Pretty much, when you are having a strong (usually negative) emotion, instead of pushing it away, you open up to it.
Step 1 is welcoming the feeling, which you do by saying that in your mind and envisioning yourself opening your arms to the emotion.
Step 2 is welcome what you want to do with the feeling, such as if you are wanting to push it away, “fix it” or run from it.
Step 3 is welcome any sense that it’s personal, which I took to mean if you are attaching your sense of self to your feelings. Welcome all of that into your heart, visualizing open arms in your mind. It’s amazing how quickly the feelings dissipate when you stop fighting them!!
Trust the process…
The process of becoming aligned with your true self and learning how to manifest your desires is a journey. Usually there is a lot to clear out first, such as limiting beliefs and past hurt. These directly influence our vibration and have paved our current life situation.
All one has to do is move in the right direction. Never give up! If you are persistent, you WILL see yourself transform. Simply think a thought that feels a little better than the thought you are thinking now. You will start to see that you are feeling better and better and that the bad days are less and less.
Look for the improvement. Celebrate your growth. What you focus on grows!
This post really touched me today. I’m struggling a lot right now with feeling lost emotionally and trying to focus on self love and care. It’s ok to “not” be ok. The front that we portray that we are strong, and aren’t affected by things – fools only other people, but we can’t fool ourselves. Being there for OURSELVES is monumental and can be tapped into anytime and anywhere. No one else should have the power to create our happiness or fill voids in our lives. “Be your own best friend.” Easier said then done, but I’m working on it. Thank you Cass.
Sending you so much love right now! Thank-you for being so authentic in your life’s challenge. You know what you need, and you see that its inside you and it WILL come. Awareness is key and everything else will follow on the journey. Once you connect to that part of you that is all-encompassing, you will see that there is no way you could ever be alone.
I know without a doubt that you are going to experience some massive growth this year! Growth is uncomfortable, but it is so worth it. I will always be here for you, and I totally believe in your magical self!
Love and support always,